When I was a child, I had a safe, secure life. I was smart, and my parents celebrated my achievements. But I was a handful. I regularly and fully expressed my emotions, which was hard for my parents.

So, like many children wanting to please, I taught myself not to feel.

This “don’t feel” approach worked for a while. It helped me seem rational, logical, and calm. I stepped into leadership roles but had become disconnected from the joy and creativity that had been a big part of me. I accepted this as the price of fitting in.

Then came adulthood: college, marriage, motherhood. The challenges that came with them hit hard. My "don't feel" approach dulled the warning signs in my marriage as my husband struggled with alcohol. The pressures of raising two children only amplified the pain of making things work.

At 32, my life began to unravel. I separated from my husband. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Divorce was no longer the hardest thing I had to face.

I had no idea how to navigate life as a single mother or enter the professional world I aspired to. I had no role models and no clear path forward. I constantly worried about how I would provide for my daughters. With a Spanish degree and a few years of secretarial experience, I felt completely unprepared to give them the life I thought we deserved.

I found Al-Anon, the 12-Step Recovery program for families and friends of alcoholics. There I learned two important lessons: life is best lived one day at a time, and "don't feel" doesn't work.

While undergoing cancer treatment, working full-time and caring for my kids, I asked myself: If my life is going to be cut short, how can I make the most of whatever time I had left?

I made a choice: if I was going to live, I was going to live fully. I chose joy, meaning and connection over fear, and went back to school to earn an MBA. I took out a loan, moved into an apartment with my girls, and started over.

Grad school turned out to be more than I expected. The classes were fascinating, but even more powerful was the sense of belonging I found. I threw myself into this new chapter, made lifelong friends and regained parts of myself I thought I had lost.

After graduation I landed a dream job at a global consulting firm and spent the next 25 years building a fulfilling career. I remarried. My daughters grew up and have become accomplished professionals and working moms.